No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize