you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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