I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
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