im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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