Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
