'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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