she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
