Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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