I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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