Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
