i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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