the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
