can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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