Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
