Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
