So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
