I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
