good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
