We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Sorry about my life...
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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