just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
