More tranny stories later!
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize
