if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
