Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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