made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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