During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
