You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
