can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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