Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
