On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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