Non-Jews are for practice
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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