Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
