As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
