Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
