I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
