Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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