Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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