I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize