how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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