I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
