found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
