I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
