There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize