So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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