Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
