Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
