is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
My life is pants optional.
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