And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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