i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
