My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
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