if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Congratulations! We have a period
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
