i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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