I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
