Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize