i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
