if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
you never un-have a 4some
Randomize
