Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
We need a shit load of segways right now
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
