Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
