I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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