Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
