Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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