We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
